We Interrupt This Programing...
For the next thirty seconds, this station will conduct a test of the Autism Spectrum Disorder. This is only a test.
The ASD, in involuntary cooperation with ADHD, Sensory Processing (Hypo-sensitivity) Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, have developed this system to keep you at your wits end during puberty.
If this had been an actual hormonal emergency, the long screeching sound on the alert--which sounds characteristically like the sound you made when you first discovered the problem--would have been followed by a very heavy guttural sigh.
Following the heavy sigh, you would have been instructed that banging your head against a concrete wall is pointless. Questions asked of any person regarding this emergency would have been met with a look of bewilderment following by excessive him-hawing as the people look for the nearest exit to avoid the conversation any longer than is necessary.
This station, and local affiliates, serve the greater Autism spectrum.
concludes only delays further tests of the Autism Spectrum Disorder.
We now return you to your "regular" programming...